…and probably the last.
When we were still dating, Tony got the idea in his head that his $8 Great Clips hair cut was a gigantic rip-off (Obviously the man has never gone to a spa for a haircut. Eight dollars? Try eighty!). So he bought himself some clippers and started cutting his own hair.
The first two words that come to mind are skin head. Or is that one word: skinhead? I don’t know, but that’s beside the point.
With his pale complexion and close cropped hair, it looked like Tony was some sort of thug. Like he should be wearing black army boots and a tight tee shirt, riding the NY subway.
But I didn’t say anything. Because I’m like that.
Well, okay maybe I did, but we weren’t married yet so I couched it in that delicately worded language that you use when you are still pretending that you are a nice person. But it didn’t make a difference.
When we got engaged, Tony was still
shaving his head cutting his own hair. I requested that for the wedding he grow his hair out a bit and get it cut by a barber. Which he did.
Once we were home from the honeymoon I took the clippers and hid them in a place that he would never find them. And he never did, for a long, long time. He started going back to the barber and all was right with the world.
That’s an exaggeration. All was right with his hair. Mostly.
Several months ago, we moved. And somehow in that move, Tony rediscovered the clippers. I told him in no uncertain terms (we’ve been married for almost 14 years now so I don’t couch my requests in that delicately worded language anymore) that the clippers were not to be used on his hair. He would continue going to the barber and shelling out the cash despite his newfound knowledge of the clippers whereabouts.
But then we got Sam. And Sam needed a haircut. Tony eagerly volunteered. And for some strange reason my common sense flew out the window and I agreed.
I was very specific with my request: Short on the sides, longer on the top. Just like Daddy’s.
So Daddy sets up the barber shop in my kitchen and begins to clip away. Look at this picture! Two things are wrong right off the bat.First, my precious son doesn’t have anything covering him so that he is protected from all the itchy hair that is falling in his lap. Second. Tony is clipping off the top. Hello? I said clippers on the side, longer on the top!
Let’s just skip over the rest—because it’s not pretty—and jump right to the end. The end being that Sam got an all over buzz cut.
Which I hate.
Hence the reason that Daddy will never give another haircut.
And the clippers are hidden.