Thursday, October 16, 2008

Tales from the Toilet Side: A Potty Training Adventure

Disclaimer: Bodily functions are discussed and semi-graphic photographs are contained in this post. Reader's discretion is advised.
The resistance to potty training in our household did not come from Molly; She has successfully used the potty on several occasions. She was ready months ago. No, the resistance came from me. I like diapers.

  • They are easy--no training involved.
  • They are convenient--you never have to search for a toilet with only a split second notice.
  • They are tidy--unless your kid ate prunes for breakfast, diapers contain the mess.

Yep, I like diapers.

I had a lot of excuses to delay potty training.

  • We were going to the beach. Who wants to hassle with finding facilities on a 14 hour road trip?
  • Hey, I just bought a big box of diapers. We don't want to waste them do we?
  • And then it was the trip to Colorado. Who wants to deal with a newly potty trained 2 year old on a total of 4 flights?
    I had finally run out of excuses, so last weekend we began potty training in earnest. I've got to tell you, my procrastination paid off! Molly was pretty well potty trained by the middle of day two. See, the guy who said, "Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today," was a fool.
    Here's how the whole P-T thing played out day-by-day:
    Day One:
    On Saturday afternoon, I headed to Kohl's to pick up some underwear. Let me pause right here and tell you that I HATE the word panties. It sounds dirty to me. Not dirty-eeeeeewwwww, but dirty-nasty. I have never use the word for my own undergarments so I don't use it with my daughter. The term in this household is underwear (or skivvies, on occasion). So anyhoo, I'm in Kohl's and score big time, getting 7 pair of underwear for $2.17, including tax. Things are looking good so far!
    Once home I show Molly the new purchase and tell her that she is going to start using the big girl potty and start wearing underwear instead of diapers. Into the bathroom she runs, shedding clothes along the way. Yea, she was excited. She got right down to business and screamed with delight as soon as she was successful. So proud, she was! "Hey, this is going to be easy," I though to myself.
    We did the potty every 30 minutes thing and that worked pretty well. Later that evening, she returned to the potty and got down to some serious business, if you know what I mean. Success! More screams of delight! First day of P-T down and no accidents.
    Now for the photographic evidence:

    Sitting pretty

    Showing off the new skivvies

    So proud!

    Hygiene is important, but Molly likes any excuse to play in the water.
    Day Two:
    Started out the morning by switching from diapers to underwear. Continued on with the potty every 30 minutes routine. Molly decides that she is much too grown up for the potty chair. She is going to use the big potty, just like Mom and Dad. She's never looked back. But....Uh oh! Two accidents before lunch. Maybe this won't be so easy.
    The accidents didn't bother Molly but they seemed to help her hone her skills, so to speak. The rest of the day went off without a hitch. And it has been smooth sailing (i.e. no accidents) ever since.

    Day Three:
    Molly decides that she liked her Hello Kitty underwear so much that they should be worn on the outside of her clothes. Although it was quite a fashion statement, a little coaching from me helped to convince her to wear them under her clothing. Nothing else of note to report. Still not brave enough to take her out of the house sans diapers.

    This fall's fashion statement?

    Or fashion faux pas?

    You be the judge.

Day Four:
Molly wakes up and states, "No underwear! Diapers!" Uh oh.

I don't give her much choice and whip off the Pampers and replace them with adorable Elmo skivvies. She refuses to go to the bathroom. I guess that shows me. Later that morning, I'm in the garage when I hear Molly yelling "Mommy". I go running in to find her standing on the toilet seat, buck naked, pointing to the bowl. Gosh darn it if she didn't take care of business (serious business) all by herself. That was the last time I was allowed into the bathroom while she was doing her thing. Can you say independent? Geesh!

Day Five:
I sneak inside the bathroom to see just how Molly gets up on the toilet. I mean she's pretty tiny and the toilet is pretty big. Let's just say it was an act of shear athleticism. All that playing on the jungle gym paid off in the bathroom! Here's the play by play:

Scale Mt. Pah-tay

Get comfy

Get down to business

Cheer for myself

Feet in (makes you think twice about using our stairs in the future, doesn't it?)

Pull up

Pants on...all done!
Success for today: We left the house for a walk and a trip to the park. Gone an hour and a half ...without diapers. No accidents! My kid is a P-T genius.
The best part about this whole experience was that the act of using the bathroom like a big girl was the only reward that Molly has needed. No stickers or M&Ms. She just goes and then cheers for herself with a big hand clap and laughter.
So to some things up, here's my suggestion for all those still needing to potty train. Once your child is ready, regardless of age, wait until they beg to be trained. Once they start begging, wait another 3 or 4 months. Procrastination will pay off. Really.
One final note. I still miss diapers. If I had a penny for each time that I have asked Molly if she needed to pee or told her to go to the bathroom, I'd be rich. Don't have to do that with diapers. Also, do you know how long it takes a 2 year old to squeeze out just a few ounces of pee? Answer: an eternity. Here's a rundown of the events.
  • completely undress
  • scale the toilet
  • fidget
  • do the job at hand--multiple times in one sitting
  • celebrate each victory
  • fidget some more
  • wipe
  • wipe some more
  • flush
  • flush some more
  • get dressed
  • wash hands
  • wash hands some more
Yea, an eternity. Diapers rock.

1 comment:

Faye said...

That is hilarious. I am glad your potty training is a success. That Molly is sooo cute. Alex and I just love her. But I say "panties" or sometimes "pantaloons". Please tell me we can still be friends. HaHa. I will try not to say it in your presence.
See you soon